Saturday, September 23, 2017


People find contentment in certain different ways.

I may not found it yet.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Crappy stuff lately

When you can't feel your head for almost 20 days, and all you can do is crawled up inside your blanket while listening to noisy world out there cheering and laughing for no particular reasons, you will realize that you used to be one of those loud people.

And when your legs are numb for 3 weeks, you wish you were special so people will treat you right. The fact is no one is responsible for you. You are the one who is responsible for yourself.

 When your head is boiling hot for almost 400 hours, you wish you just can cut it all out. Because you are too tired to think or even try.

Everything seems so wrong.

You can't sleep so you just toss and turn. Your blanket is too warm, so you take it off, but 3 minutes later you shivered. Your eyes are burning  hot when you open them so you shut it down, but when you close your eyes the whole things are spiraling around. You tried not to think about it, but it always bugging.

 Not to mention those train of thoughts that popped out of nowhere : The tasks you haven't completed, those instagram stories that remind how lonely you are, the person you expect didn't show up or sympathize, how you let your loved ones down, what's for lunch, what's for dinner and what's for breakfast, etc.

Haven't had a proper shower for 5 days. All that greasy hair. Dark dark eye circles. My face is red hot as a crab in a boiling pot. Pale and messy.