tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55063953404069347032024-02-18T18:38:57.938-08:00Nadhira Riezkyathoughts. scribbles. ramblings
nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.comBlogger152125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-61759045880534146702020-05-22T07:04:00.001-07:002020-05-22T07:04:43.069-07:00EyesHere i am back at it again. In this place where no one ever notice but still visible to the eye who cares. But whose eyes are they? No one i guessnadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-12424452908198306712020-03-01T17:54:00.000-08:002020-03-02T08:20:11.168-08:00Home (in your word play)What are we running away from?<br />
<div>
The inevitable mistakes human made;</div>
<div>
The comfort of love making;</div>
<div>
The nature of taking care of each other.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If ever apologizing is forbid</div>
<div>
And I am never trully a saint,</div>
<div>
Will you still be here?</div>
<div>
Or are we still running?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Baby, I know how scary the future might look. I, too terrified.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But if we get through this time,</div>
<div>
I can't promise it would be all calm waves ahead of us;</div>
<div>
I can't provide you glitters and butterflies;</div>
<div>
At least we have each others' arms to keep.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Once again, welcome back to the unstable yet progressing haven of us called home (for<br />
which only god knows on what pace are we progressing).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
At least we</div>
<div>
Tried,</div>
<div>
Tried,</div>
<div>
Tried,</div>
<div>
Tired</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-60385693217354876972020-02-25T19:05:00.001-08:002020-02-26T10:20:47.156-08:00egg in the shellI cracked myself open<br>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
For you to see me vulnerable. </div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
For you to peak inside the core.</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
I am fully unarmed, weak and insecure.</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
You wouldn't look, you wouldn't pity.</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
Instead, you pour water to simmer</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
Toss me in, </div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
Hundrid degrees, boiling hot.</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
Leaving me with wound that burns.</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
Lifted me up and sprinkle me with salt</div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
Stings so bad.<br>
<br>
<br></div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcaxU6O5ap0dE1B4KJ7wO8RIaxTqOlXSADI1lcs16y_J-pskMZOGQgc_CX5ZoybaPbIPY5XqzUEye6syBm_Uvo_rgE242hxbBpD5wxfKDPwYXvKFM6sAY9Wxc8K1KJ3JqXLUzvj7DM8lK8/s1600/1582741233819608-0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcaxU6O5ap0dE1B4KJ7wO8RIaxTqOlXSADI1lcs16y_J-pskMZOGQgc_CX5ZoybaPbIPY5XqzUEye6syBm_Uvo_rgE242hxbBpD5wxfKDPwYXvKFM6sAY9Wxc8K1KJ3JqXLUzvj7DM8lK8/s1600/1582741233819608-0.png" width="400">
</a>
</div><br></div><div><br></div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
<br></div>
nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-16438012052025190412020-02-20T08:37:00.001-08:002020-02-20T08:37:14.493-08:00Don't worry<div>I'll be out of your reach,</div><div>Off your radar,</div><div>A good way off.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-3378804248202480432020-02-17T07:42:00.000-08:002020-02-17T07:42:06.334-08:00A Girl Like Me<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It is anger, I knew it from the heat on my
throat. I may scream and cursed the meanest words that one can pronounce. I may
stab and drain the blood out of anyone that crossed my lawn. I may do the dirtiest
deeds a man can do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But I can’t.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Not that I can’t do those terrible things,
but the world has shut me down before I even started. Everyone has judged me
with their cynical eyes. The old woman whispering to her neighbor “how could possibly
a girl do such nasty things like that?” she only whispered but it slaps me
right on my face.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The other part of society is meaner. They
are nobody to me but they judge the hell out of me about my clothes on their
personal religious view. Stating that I am the one who has the most sins, and
will rot in hell. They don’t bite but they laugh at me as I was a joke to them,
they mock me as I was an object to mock at. And that my friend, is irritating. Like chest
pain from being stabbed multiple times with humiliation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know it has reached my boiling point. All
the words that have been repressed had gotten to the top of my lungs. Ready to
burst whenever I open my mouth. The heat is on my throat now. And here comes the
older ones. “How dare you talk back to old men like us? We taught you manners,
and girl like you wouldn't go far!” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I paused. I can feel my bloodstream travels
from head to feet so fast I can even make a waterfall out of it. It was cold so
suddenly. I shivered. Not that I felt wrong. But I felt disarmed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My eyes are wet. Not that I am sad, but I felt
insulted.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Holding back my tears, I gulp once more on
the ocean of tears trying to catch my breath. All my evil plans and mean things
suddenly melted into one. Swallowed by the heat of my throat back to my body. And
then it disappears in the midst of my anger. Buried once again in the back of
my head. so deep into the bottom of my brain. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I told you not that I can’t, but the world
has shut me down before I even started.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-21683999909976515742019-11-02T21:23:00.005-07:002019-11-02T21:23:48.771-07:00A love letter to self<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdz_sahyFwYjD-V-Wxn2jZlP_s81IsSy_-UTFFoulHqgQrp2XhG5fiqtoyLRN6_g4HtrvDpIPTXEwaFKPtx236QluXtfZzLhPby20UiEskmA_03Ede0S-iWgc72tfFEchTSCM-RDlX_Qcs/s1600/0FAC3194-F7B9-4B94-B21B-CF27DD5F0B37.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdz_sahyFwYjD-V-Wxn2jZlP_s81IsSy_-UTFFoulHqgQrp2XhG5fiqtoyLRN6_g4HtrvDpIPTXEwaFKPtx236QluXtfZzLhPby20UiEskmA_03Ede0S-iWgc72tfFEchTSCM-RDlX_Qcs/s400/0FAC3194-F7B9-4B94-B21B-CF27DD5F0B37.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I used to write love letters for someone else, I didn't realize the one who needs it the most is myself.<br />
So if I could write to myself it goes like this.<br />
<br />
Dear self,<br />
<br />
I heard that January is the warmest month on the southern hemisphere throughout the year,<br />
and maybe that's because your smile radiates warmth to sway the coldness away. You took away the blues and turn it into tangerine, without anyone knowing that your feet are icy cold and it stings so badly.<br />
<br />
I hope you are still giggly and all happy like yesterdays. I know it's sometimes hard to be the one who pats your own back, to scratch your own itch, and to be the shoulder for you to cry on. But I always know you are a great multi-taskers. You are strong and capable of many things. Let me remind you that you are not alone, you are so full of love but you often forgot. I, myself love you!<br />
<br />
Don't worry about how people may think about you. You are prettier than those girls who don't fight for their ambitions. You always know what you want and you know what's better for you but you need to be brave. You've always been great, but this time I need you to push harder. I believe in you.<br />
<br />
And when you're feeling worn out, remember to always take some rest. You've done just enough. You always give your 110% like I know you.<br />
<br />
And lastly, I want to thank you for a lot of things.<br />
<br />
Thank you self for learning to let go multiple times; for letting yourself to expand and adapt to new tools and experience; for finally having the guts to reunite with old friends; for not stop creating; for listening and helping more to those who struggle to heal; for having new hobbies; for accepting how you look in the mirror; for teaching yourself how to cook; and for realizing that you’ve gained so much in the midst of your insecurities.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yours truly<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-51889869432022488862019-10-09T23:45:00.001-07:002019-10-09T23:45:54.365-07:00Who am I to you<p dir="ltr">A nobody to your success</p>
<p dir="ltr">Pebbles and rocky road to your smooth path</p>
<p dir="ltr">An occupying space between your mind that you neglect</p>
<p dir="ltr">Nothing, but a burden to <u>you</u></p>
nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-16397893380356543912019-10-08T10:22:00.001-07:002019-10-08T10:22:06.491-07:00Shithole<p dir="ltr">Feeling left out, and no longer heard.<br>
And I realized that i am only a tiny fragments of life, and I play unimportant roles on everyone's life. I am almost nobody, celebrated by most on my absent. </p>
nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-49254371461923153072018-09-13T09:35:00.001-07:002020-02-26T18:36:14.669-08:00LostI thought I was tougher for I was holding back my tears as I witnessed my gran passed away. I never knew that the hardest part of losing the one you love is to accept that you can no longer touch her, see, and comfort her physically. I never knew I would grief this hard.<br>
<br>
I am now living in a house that no longer feels like home. I no longer come home to a warm greeting and a worried look questioning why I always come home late. It irritates me as I have to swallow all these all at once while trying to live through all the mementos that surround me.<div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4KBKcZ7d4HKllwXwaF9FDUhcq1N5i9fLe5VeCAeoxLE5wW9kgIidAJPZL-YQ2X_lZP5X6IcLcp-VYDFlhEuqn06XgQCjE7msx5oOJCQYbd5htzHkNUipXWDLsaAXyIJJrnrepJa-BTbD-/s1600/1582770924887022-0.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4KBKcZ7d4HKllwXwaF9FDUhcq1N5i9fLe5VeCAeoxLE5wW9kgIidAJPZL-YQ2X_lZP5X6IcLcp-VYDFlhEuqn06XgQCjE7msx5oOJCQYbd5htzHkNUipXWDLsaAXyIJJrnrepJa-BTbD-/s1600/1582770924887022-0.png" width="400">
</a>
</div><br>
<br>
<br></div>nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-36774021694262503792018-05-21T15:04:00.000-07:002018-05-21T15:04:25.879-07:00<span style="font-size: xx-small;">I spent my whole week crying myself to sleep. Turning my eyes into stream and my lungs into desert. And I wander through the land of hopelessness . I am lost. There's only two ways dying, either dying of suffocating or being drowned. I survived this time, many times. With an open wound in my chest.</span><br />
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-71280689011763367982018-05-21T14:18:00.000-07:002018-05-21T14:18:15.590-07:00Lay down restlessly<br />
In a bed full of sorrow<br />
Maybe this time's a goodbye<br />
What's even good in goodbye?<br />
Spiralling down with no answers<br />
Just a loop echoed questions<br />
And at the end of the tunnel<br />
There is still darkness and silence<br />
Lingering.<br />
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-1674923430479645952018-05-11T09:01:00.001-07:002018-05-11T09:15:48.701-07:00How it feels to be with a scorpio1. You may feel you have done your best but still, you are disappointing to them<br />
2. you will experience the spike of emotions, you may be ecstatic today and completely sad the next day.<br />
3. you will be clueless all the time trying to figure out what have you done wrong.<br />
4. conversations are the best cure for all heartaches<br />
5. they are a living voice recorder and camera, they remember every detail.<br />
6. You learn new things every day because he/she is easily interested in new ideas, hobbies, etc.<br />
7. you will be super clingy because he/she wants to take parts in everything you do.<br />
8. you will lose on his/her quiet game.<br />
9. you will be worried all the time (or it's just me) you have to trust him/her over your instinct.<br />
10. you will be very lucky because he/she really knows how to surprise you.<br />
11. it is sometimes pain in the ass, full stop.<br />
12. you'll find out that the source of happiness wasn't something expensive and all glamourous things, happiness is when you two aren't fighting over silly things.<br />
13. you'll feel content by only his/her presence.<br />
14. you'll be struggling in giving his/her personal time & space when you need them the most.<br />
15. hint: you just have to be honest, by honest it means ALL THE TIME no excuse.<br />
16. they will appreciate even the tiniest thoughts of yours. Share with them.<br />
17. it is sometimes sad, sometimes super happy, sometimes mad, sometimes confusing.<br />
18. you may feel hurtful by their words, but it is how they show their love. weird but true, they want to be more than anyone they can toy with. They challenge you to be a person who truly knows them through their best and worst.<br />
19. advice: you may want to practice the art of not-easily-get-offended-or-annoyed by their words and deeds.<br />
20. yes, you are welcome. This is a cheat sheet for you who might be as confused as me.<br />
<br />
(sincerely, A Capricorn)<br />
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-26790290084069834792018-05-05T08:31:00.000-07:002018-05-05T08:31:57.535-07:00EmptyAt nights like this, you feel things you cannot describe: an obscure sorrow, an ambiguous anger, and a sudden lonesome.nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-29247323206611487312018-04-10T15:37:00.000-07:002018-04-10T15:37:16.333-07:00Into pieces<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">It breaks me instantly, constantly</span></span></h4>
nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-35265389048522636162018-03-03T06:09:00.002-08:002018-03-03T06:09:47.024-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhukkdCOJze4GRpEzwlJuH1j7StnCDEUWxWPf98gV7GINRC-GlSoGMHe_YWPG4PAqo3_HGLdLKzxB56gUhnFjenegc20MpM8qEEppUHBB3Dil1qasug17XNnbE6OOAV_sut4QGMe4CaQ-4/s1600/beguiled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="492" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhukkdCOJze4GRpEzwlJuH1j7StnCDEUWxWPf98gV7GINRC-GlSoGMHe_YWPG4PAqo3_HGLdLKzxB56gUhnFjenegc20MpM8qEEppUHBB3Dil1qasug17XNnbE6OOAV_sut4QGMe4CaQ-4/s1600/beguiled.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The Beguiled </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(2017)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Sofia Coppola never fails me</span></div>
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-63441473370135398162018-02-28T08:41:00.000-08:002018-02-28T08:41:19.657-08:00My moon, My Man<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDsWiYPmLOazPZKsjhbafjTAj5llcFv1vXCkTzHri_aSae4ensWorlZUBpvci3ND9ZmdA4sSCbu53kQD3PZnaGZqiJQMWMXu5WqOp68nDDx7ltQ7O1OwLoaiVvQrs4qnMFnJ2d2yWaWTlR/s1600/my+moon+my+man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1128" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDsWiYPmLOazPZKsjhbafjTAj5llcFv1vXCkTzHri_aSae4ensWorlZUBpvci3ND9ZmdA4sSCbu53kQD3PZnaGZqiJQMWMXu5WqOp68nDDx7ltQ7O1OwLoaiVvQrs4qnMFnJ2d2yWaWTlR/s640/my+moon+my+man.jpg" width="450" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-style: italic;">To: you on this (almost) full moon day</span></div>
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span><br />
<div style="font-size: small; font-style: italic; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span>
<br />
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<audio controls=""> <source src="https://sites.google.com/site/dey122334/home/deyyyy/my%20moon%20my%20man.m4a?attredirects=0&d=1"></source> If you cannot see the audio controls, your browser does not support the audio element </audio>
</div>
</div>
</div>
nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-73942618133513274572018-02-10T11:12:00.001-08:002018-02-11T02:26:59.507-08:00I know, I know I am a bit kooky in the head.<br />
<br />
I'm sad and all that.<br />
<br />
and when I can no longer stand it<br />
<br />
I am drained emotionally and physically.<br />
<br />
I just wished I could stay sane<br />
<br />
And get a lot less crazy.nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-40991190421608301422017-12-31T09:54:00.002-08:002018-02-11T02:30:57.337-08:00The only thing I was good at in 2017, is probably crying.Is that even a talent?nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-61603394730229440572017-12-28T20:15:00.002-08:002018-02-11T02:31:33.553-08:00Houdini<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJCqNGzIxyOW_3vNuqpdBAE4aZzFl3Y4Ue1d4HefzXrNIIqVj7JSeBO1kd5Jpb-IpDe9jY3Kud-U8C3rjFpWjVrY5iNrDLos0CJoELNqhr_AOfREva-ROCTU57_NhbIZaxgnujEa_3qRA1/s1600/houdini.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="997" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJCqNGzIxyOW_3vNuqpdBAE4aZzFl3Y4Ue1d4HefzXrNIIqVj7JSeBO1kd5Jpb-IpDe9jY3Kud-U8C3rjFpWjVrY5iNrDLos0CJoELNqhr_AOfREva-ROCTU57_NhbIZaxgnujEa_3qRA1/s640/houdini.jpg" width="398" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-61747486206991763892017-12-20T05:25:00.001-08:002018-02-28T08:42:06.348-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1-k4KRgaAhTLCcD7fN-fUJ26CP0zJkZdzvYiP8KF81BfBvI-K7R3_E5Qh5zxU17agwroREA65une0ueXnbPT-1s2YQh7hfZdtY24oWKvvXF1qDSKIASH2cKHQT38Hj_EyjKa9EE42uxt-/s1600/eeee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="545" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1-k4KRgaAhTLCcD7fN-fUJ26CP0zJkZdzvYiP8KF81BfBvI-K7R3_E5Qh5zxU17agwroREA65une0ueXnbPT-1s2YQh7hfZdtY24oWKvvXF1qDSKIASH2cKHQT38Hj_EyjKa9EE42uxt-/s640/eeee.jpg" width="217" /></a></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
20th Century Women</div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(2016)</div>
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-10082289946609368412017-12-19T19:40:00.002-08:002017-12-20T05:12:54.373-08:00that's all about<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXAwvSfsIForkHkCfTD4UTgObCFYRs90WrOn_Szbkw_2cuatDwH8MjAMxWURSbQVbf3377_Gs3DV6cLorC0dNQI6o0ZZsXmKg2H86eFkmtt9GvAIGQbu6gaDkmbqCnEBj7HhviECANGJ2R/s1600/that%2527s+what+it%2527s+all+about.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1189" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXAwvSfsIForkHkCfTD4UTgObCFYRs90WrOn_Szbkw_2cuatDwH8MjAMxWURSbQVbf3377_Gs3DV6cLorC0dNQI6o0ZZsXmKg2H86eFkmtt9GvAIGQbu6gaDkmbqCnEBj7HhviECANGJ2R/s640/that%2527s+what+it%2527s+all+about.jpg" width="475" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-45926746087833177482017-09-26T01:32:00.001-07:002018-03-03T06:10:35.889-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-5Q0uQ271EkTzBcMUBCOGFsy0jrLG-zX7R_5I_bs_C4kedx-_y3hwfqVyj4G9vyMOP5-wdj1QJJIF27T7rsydxXSBICed4LlFyQX_d0u6eusbsC7HmhB0EhpE7Be5ZsnfopT5o4ANLdDj/s1600/006309b88cf4ef53b37857befb92cf77.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1186" data-original-width="564" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-5Q0uQ271EkTzBcMUBCOGFsy0jrLG-zX7R_5I_bs_C4kedx-_y3hwfqVyj4G9vyMOP5-wdj1QJJIF27T7rsydxXSBICed4LlFyQX_d0u6eusbsC7HmhB0EhpE7Be5ZsnfopT5o4ANLdDj/s1600/006309b88cf4ef53b37857befb92cf77.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
god help the girl </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(2014)</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-88327866576554218032017-09-23T11:40:00.001-07:002017-12-19T19:41:38.969-08:00Uncontent<div style="text-align: center;">
People find contentment in certain different ways.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4P1TM0s-a5JgLlwt43-4kFUZlC62xOE1qsNPM1oPrbG_en7b7i-M1x2sZwjOAF24OLwGh2mRaUGEWd9BJMsAjYgkOLq1vW5QS6T5M5VtuyV7DtmLTYbhtBEoYiculdXTmfSRjjvTicr5o/s1600/IMG_20170923_224933_741.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4P1TM0s-a5JgLlwt43-4kFUZlC62xOE1qsNPM1oPrbG_en7b7i-M1x2sZwjOAF24OLwGh2mRaUGEWd9BJMsAjYgkOLq1vW5QS6T5M5VtuyV7DtmLTYbhtBEoYiculdXTmfSRjjvTicr5o/s400/IMG_20170923_224933_741.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I may not found it yet.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQnQtPD0JNWBhjjeIu0o2u72XqohaTNg74vOiacoJVdxw92jSevy1Z2yfstlqFqVKOmFnRTXAExRXUnaHvm98bpNQ8mRvChIm4rgDd1ysWOc2H4ZW0M2YH_tlDZKnV44BJbnEGl_dYQzFM/s1600/17-09-20-01-07-56-688_deco.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQnQtPD0JNWBhjjeIu0o2u72XqohaTNg74vOiacoJVdxw92jSevy1Z2yfstlqFqVKOmFnRTXAExRXUnaHvm98bpNQ8mRvChIm4rgDd1ysWOc2H4ZW0M2YH_tlDZKnV44BJbnEGl_dYQzFM/s640/17-09-20-01-07-56-688_deco.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-87170356540425794642017-07-19T08:15:00.000-07:002017-07-19T08:19:13.486-07:00Crappy stuff latelyWhen you can't feel your head for almost 20 days, and all you can do is crawled up inside your blanket while listening to noisy world out there cheering and laughing for no particular reasons, you will realize that you used to be one of those loud people.<br />
<br />
And when your legs are numb for 3 weeks, you wish you were special so people will treat you right. The fact is no one is responsible for you. You are the one who is responsible for yourself.<br />
<br />
When your head is boiling hot for almost 400 hours, you wish you just can cut it all out. Because you are too tired to think or even try.<br />
<br />
Everything seems so wrong.<br />
<br />
You can't sleep so you just toss and turn. Your blanket is too warm, so you take it off, but 3 minutes later you shivered. Your eyes are burning hot when you open them so you shut it down, but when you close your eyes the whole things are spiraling around. You tried not to think about it, but it always bugging.<br />
<br />
Not to mention those train of thoughts that popped out of nowhere : The tasks you haven't completed, those instagram stories that remind how lonely you are, the person you expect didn't show up or sympathize, how you let your loved ones down, what's for lunch, what's for dinner and what's for breakfast, etc.<br />
<br />
Haven't had a proper shower for 5 days. All that greasy hair. Dark dark eye circles. My face is red hot as a crab in a boiling pot. Pale and messy.<br />
<br />nadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5506395340406934703.post-34860143510964331252017-07-03T06:49:00.001-07:002017-07-03T06:49:20.357-07:00I pushed myself too hard Again this timenadhirariezkyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18131261026814382559noreply@blogger.com0