It is anger, I knew it from the heat on my
throat. I may scream and cursed the meanest words that one can pronounce. I may
stab and drain the blood out of anyone that crossed my lawn. I may do the dirtiest
deeds a man can do.
But I can’t.
Not that I can’t do those terrible things,
but the world has shut me down before I even started. Everyone has judged me
with their cynical eyes. The old woman whispering to her neighbor “how could possibly
a girl do such nasty things like that?” she only whispered but it slaps me
right on my face.
The other part of society is meaner. They
are nobody to me but they judge the hell out of me about my clothes on their
personal religious view. Stating that I am the one who has the most sins, and
will rot in hell. They don’t bite but they laugh at me as I was a joke to them,
they mock me as I was an object to mock at. And that my friend, is irritating. Like chest
pain from being stabbed multiple times with humiliation.
I know it has reached my boiling point. All
the words that have been repressed had gotten to the top of my lungs. Ready to
burst whenever I open my mouth. The heat is on my throat now. And here comes the
older ones. “How dare you talk back to old men like us? We taught you manners,
and girl like you wouldn't go far!”
I paused. I can feel my bloodstream travels
from head to feet so fast I can even make a waterfall out of it. It was cold so
suddenly. I shivered. Not that I felt wrong. But I felt disarmed. My eyes are wet. Not that I am sad, but I felt
insulted.
Holding back my tears, I gulp once more on
the ocean of tears trying to catch my breath. All my evil plans and mean things
suddenly melted into one. Swallowed by the heat of my throat back to my body. And
then it disappears in the midst of my anger. Buried once again in the back of
my head. so deep into the bottom of my brain.
I told you not that I can’t, but the world
has shut me down before I even started.
